


Ave Maria

by steggyisimmortal



Series: Shield and Gun [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Peggy POV, Steve POV, War time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 14:18:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12459540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steggyisimmortal/pseuds/steggyisimmortal
Summary: You aren’t the first man I’ve been with but I know you’ll be my last.





	Ave Maria

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the lines: _"You are my heaven on earth. You are my last, my first."_

_1946_

Sometimes I feel as though I’m living in a dream and I can’t wake up.

 

I wake from my slumber now to find you still asleep next to me.  I can hear rain tapping gently at the window, the one even you can never seem to get shut all the way.  I look over and see the towel we keep on the sill doing its job at collecting any rampant water that wants to make its way inside. 

 

I turn my attention back to you.  You have your pillow clutched tightly in your arms, the way you like to lie when you sleep on your stomach.  I can still feel your knee pressed against mine.  Somehow we never manage to lose contact when we sleep.  I’ve woken up at various hours of the night, usually in a panic over a nightmare, only to find at least one part of our bodies touching. 

 

You’re facing me to my delight.  I love to watch you sleep.  You’re beautiful in general but more so when you sleep.  I turn onto my side to take in the sight I’ll never tire of.

 

Not a day goes by I don’t praise Howard for his persistence in searching for you.  I think he was afraid of my reaction if he came back without you.  Of course I keep my praise silent aside from when Howard returned with you from the Arctic.  The last thing that man needs is another woman telling him how much she appreciates him.  But I digress.

 

Debating only for a moment, I reach my hand out to touch a finger to your chin just under your lip.  I smile as my wedding ring catch in the dull light.  I love the sight of it on my finger.  I told you I didn’t need anything fancy, or anything at all, but you insisted and I can’t say I’m disappointed.  You were mum about where you got the ring but I suspect you had it for quite some time before you actually proposed.

 

I miss you when you're gone but I love when you return home to me.  I must admit I grow terribly bored when you’re not here but Angie at the Automat has become a good friend of mine.  She’s bit dramatic at times but she reminds me of you.  I’ve also met Howard’s butler, Mr. Jarvis, and I must admit that I enjoy taking tea with him occasionally. 

 

But there’s no one quite like you, my darling.

 

The way you greet me with a kiss when you return, whether it be day or night.  The way you cling to me for the first few nights.  The way you slowly and thoroughly make love to me what seems like every spare moment we have.  The way you can’t seem to get enough of me even when I’m sick of myself. 

 

When we go to baseball games because I finally allowed you to take me to one so now we have to go to all of them.  Neither one of us knew I’d end up loving it just as much as you.  Our trips to the park for a spontaneous picnic.  Date nights at the cinema or a restaurant you think I’d like.  Grocery shopping because you know I hate doing it but if you do it alone you’re bound to come home with bags full of items we don’t need.  My dreadful attempts at cooking and your meals that pass as edible but have more room for improvement than mine. 

 

That time I took you clothes shopping because a few of your shirts were beyond our mending capabilities.  You hated every second, every shirt and every pair of pants I handed you to try on, until we started shopping for me.  The look in your eyes when we got to the lingerie was breathtaking.  You were a very willing shopping participant then. 

 

When you watch me dress in the soft morning light.  When you undress me after a long day apart.

 

I cherish every moment we have together.  Even the ones when I’m chastising you for leaving dishes in the sink again. 

 

I cannot imagine my life without you in it.  I imagine I’d feel as though a piece of me were always missing because I know no one would fit so perfectly with me except for you. 

 

You aren’t the first man I’ve been with but I know you’ll be my last.

 

* * *

 

  _1943_

It’s cold tonight.  That doesn’t matter much to me; I can’t feel the bite in the air.  Between the serum and the uniform I’m always at the perfect temperature. 

 

That’s why I always volunteer to take watch shifts at the darkest hour.  I don’t want the guys up and exposed in conditions like tonight.  It’s the least I can do.

 

As it is now, they’re asleep in the lone barn we found standing in a small clearing in the middle of the forest.  The house that resides next to it was collapsed to the ground when we got here.  We almost passed on the barn – god knows why the house collapsed but not the barn - but you warned us that wouldn’t be safe.

 

Two hours ago we were on our way back to base camp when you suddenly announced a snow storm was blowing in.  It’s July so needless to say the boys and I were confused.  In the way that only you can you rolled your eyes and explained the fishy smell in the air was the wind from the Baltic. 

 

You ushered us into the barn and gave us each a task – Dernier dug a couple holes for the fire, Gabe and Bucky looked for kindling, Monty and Morita checked the house as well as they could for people or anything useful, Dugan and I checked the perimeter and made sure the area was secure while you checked the barn for anything we could use.

 

A whiteout blizzard hit us not thirty minutes later.

 

Not for the first time I’m grateful to have you on my team. 

 

We agreed a lookout was probably unnecessary since we couldn’t see more than an inch in front of our faces but I always feel uneasy when we’re in enemy territory.  I promised them I wouldn’t stay out long.

 

I slip inside now, squeezing the door open only enough to allow my body to pass through.  I don’t want the cold to slip into the warmth of the barn.  That fire you suggested heated it fast and leaves no smoke.  

 

The barn is small so I have to step over bodies to make my way across the space, searching the dark for you. 

 

It’s easy to discern you from the boys; they all sleep like an octopus washed up on land.  Dugan’s snores to my left assure me I’ll find you as far to my right as possible.  We’d kick him out to sleep by himself but he’s incredibly useful so we’ve had to get used to his loud snoring. 

 

Your small frame is curled up in a ball and I frown when I notice it’s not as warm in this corner as it is in the rest of the barn.  You’re using your pack as a pillow and your arms are curled around your body to keep you warm.  Your chin is tucked as close to your chest as possible.

 

Shedding my helmet and removing my jacket, I take off the shoulder padding next before unzipping the front of my uniform.  I kneel down and curve my body around yours.  You move with me, fitting your body perfectly against me.  I share my heat with you, warming you so you’re not cold.  Your nose is cold when you press it in the crook of my neck.  You mutter something that sounds like my name but you don’t wake. 

 

I feel like my life is something straight out of a fairy tale sometimes. 

 

There’s no way I’m here holding you in my arms.

 

I wish it wasn’t during a war but if not for the war it’s doubtful we ever would have met.

 

You’ve made me a better person.  I know you’ll say otherwise but you have.  You gave me confidence.  You gave me the courage to show my confidence.  You’re so unabashedly unapologetic about your own.  I think that’s what I love most about you.

 

I love every moment we spend together.  I crave it.  We’re apart more than we’re together so I make sure I never take a moment for granted. 

 

There’s no one like you. 

 

The way you tease me when we’re alone.  The way you give me orders when you know there’s a good chance I’ll throw them out the window and do my own thing instead.  The quirk of your brow when I saw something smart and you’re trying to hold back your laughter in front of our superiors.  The dirty jokes you tell when you come along on missions with me and the guys.  The way your cheeks flush after you’ve had a few drinks but somehow still aren’t drunk.  I’ve never seen someone hold their liquor the way you do.  Except for Dugan but he’s a big Irish man.  It’s expected.

 

The way you kiss me to get me to stop talking because I know I’ve said the wrong thing again but you don’t seem to mind.  Your smile after you kiss me, your lipstick smudged.  Your soft touch down my arm in the middle of the night when nothing in the world exists except for us. 

 

I love everything I’ve discovered about you so far in our short time together.  I can’t wait to fall in love with every new piece I uncover. 

 

You’re the first woman I’ve been with and I know you’ll be my last.

 


End file.
